Rants, raves & the occasional good comment

According to Wikipedia the term policy is typically described as a deliberate plan of action to guide decisions and achieve rational outcome(s). The word ‘rational’ is of particular importance to this blog entry.

It seems to me that if a company is large enough they can have a policy that simply overrules anything or anybody else including the laws of the country. It’s always the case that when a big company fucks up and acts in the most irrationally absurd manner that it’s a matter of company policy.

I am going to devote my attention to airlines to give one particular such example however many others do exist.
Most airlines policy’s state they are allowed to overbook flights; and then if the flight remains overbooked, they move people around as they see fit. I know what you thinking – that incontestably this cannot be the case because it simply wouldn’t hold up. But it is.

The reason why I know this for a fact is that I was quite candidly told this by an airline employee. I had booked a flight from Cape Town to JHB, only to receive an SMS saying that I was no longer a passenger of that flight and had been re-allocated to another flight.

In some insane conspiracy to actually try figure out what the fuck was going on I tried to phone the call centre. I got through to somebody who I thought was the most unintuitive person on the planet. This however was not the case; when I phoned back about 15 minutes later I found the most unintuitive human being on the planet. She basically told me that I had now been booked on a different flight because my original flight was overbooked. The airlines seem to know how to take the bookings they just can’t really HOLD onto them, which is really the most important part of a booking. Anybody can just take them.

So as it stood the flight was overbooked and I was moved over to another flight which obviously didn’t suit me otherwise I would have booked that flight in the first place. When I enquired as to how they can simply double book; they ingenuously admitted to me that in the company’s policy and they are allowed to do it.

?

The question mark is representation of my lack of ability to even respond to what I had just heard. Nonetheless trying to present my case to the call centre lady was as much a waste of time as going to Wits so I just gave up.

I mean there I was arguing with company policy……

Here are some thoughts, questions and answers to some of the questions that nobody ever asks.

Who is more intelligent: The person who recognises the fact that they aren't smart or the person that thinks they are but aren't? Close call.
This question has puzzled me for a while now. Those of you who think you know everything are annoying to those of us who do.

Has there been anybody in the history of man to successfully transport a take-away coffee back home without spilling? Why dont they seal it?
Can somebody please explain to me why they don’t seal the coffee properly when you order take-away? In an ideal world there should be 3 options: Drink in-store, to-go and take away. The drink in-store is the option where you sit at the coffee shop and drink the coffee there, in a normal cup/mug. The to-go option is where they serve you the coffee in a bullshit cardboard cup with a tiny hole in it so you can burn yourself while walking around. The last and most important option is the take-away option. Can they just seal the fucking cup properly if you are going to transport the coffee to a different location?

99% of the time when I hear somebody say "it's the principle of the thing" it has something to do with money.
Think about the last time you heard somebody say that, then nod your head and agree that its always to do with money.

One of my favourite nonsense adverts on TV at the moment is the nivea ad that suggests a womens underarms are the sexiest part of her. Crazy.
I’m sure the ‘proud’ boyfriend isn’t going around to all his mates and telling his chick to lift her arm up so they call all see how sexy her underarms are.

Why would a pig eat roastbeef? Bullshit story.
This little piggy went to market.
This little piggy stayed at home.
This little piggy has roast beef,
This little piggy had none.
And this little piggy cried "Wee! Wee! Wee!" all the way home

After such a huge debate as to who actually won the SA idols I haven't heard anything about either of them. Not that I'm complaining.
For weeks it made headline news that votes were incorrectly counted and nobody knew who won. Who actually gave a fuck? If anybody out there actually knows the name of either of the two finalists please… actually don’t bother.


If I hear once more about miley cyrus I'm gonna have major kopshewitz. A spoilt little brat with no talent and an annoying voice.
Miley if you are reading this then please remove your head from your own ass, you going to suffocate yourself douchbag. I would even go as far as to say your dad has more talent than you and his most famous song is Achy, breaky heart.

Cant remember last time there were 2 good songs playing on the radio at the same time. Mind u it’s hard to think when they played 1 good song.

I managed to get a university degree with a lot less effort than it took to get a new sim card from Vodacom.
It cannot possibly be that hard, can it?

I reckon coconut is the rosemary of the sweet world. Can't stop it.

Wen a drink doesn't have gas in it, that doesn't mean you can call it water. Would be like calling oros, vitamin flavoured orange water.
This next rant is possibly the one that’s been annoying me the most lately; it has to do with ‘Vitamin Water’. Here is the new rule, once something has been added to water it is no longer water. The same as Coke add some coke syrup to water and it becomes coke is the same as when these guys add ‘vitamins’ to the water it is no longer water. I actually have to take my hat off the guys behind Vitamin Water – they assessed the situation realised everybody else around them was retarded and then charged R20 for a bottle of water with some juice. Let me help you people out – every drink in the world has some form of vitamins in it, even diet coke has some vitamin B in it. Just open ur eyes and realise ur drinking normal diluted juice and paying R20 for it. I even heard a case where a doctor recommended to somebody that should you drink Vitamin Water to improve their health. Either he has a share in it, isn’t actually a doctor, or the patient was drinking liquid mercury and he suggested this as a healthier alternative. If supposedly the cleverest people in the country believe what they see in a marketing exercise I hold out little hope for the rest of us. No surprises that Verimark and Glomail have done so well.

Why do all the charities help the previously disadvantaged? I'd prefer if they would help the currently disadvantaged.

Why is it that when you cut fruit it tastes so much better?