Nobody told you
Firstly if anybody is reading this then I can only ask why? But that being said, I’m glad that you are…
I’ve been absent from my blog for many months but please don’t take that as an indication that brands are no longer constantly failing and people have stopped annoying me - quite the contrary infact. Even for a person that expects so little from companies and people in general I am still in awe of how far some people are willing to go to establish their dominance in the realm of stupidity. Big up to all of them.
This blog post was inspired by an indie ‘rock’ concert I recently attended. There are two elements to this post, firstly the complete failure of Big Concerts as the organiser of the event and secondly the other shmohawks who attended the concert.
Let’s start off with Big Concerts. There are a giant fuck up if I do say so myself. It’s not the first time they’ve held a concert yet they cannot seem to get the fundamentals of organising a concert right, at all.
They cannot anticipate that when lots of people go to a live music event, it’s plausible they may want to eat and drink. I can picture them brainstorming, how to organise this event, while sitting around a big table in a board room. Some douchebag suggest that they have as little people serving food and drinks as possible because that way they won’t have to pay that many staff money. The CEO ponders this for a second and immediately promotes this moron to head organiser. To get a beer you stand in an enormous queue waiting. Two people are actually serving customers and the other hundred odd people are literally opening beer cans and bottles and pouring the drinks into plastic cups as they are not allowed to give out cans/bottles. Again it comes down to anticipation, surely if you can’t give beer in bottles they should them use beer on tap or another option? Needless to say their idea of getting staff to open beers and pour them into cups worked like a swiss fucking watch, they employed double the amount of people they needed while serving half the amount of people they could have. It was a great fucking plan man, if indeed I did understand it correctly.
Moving onto the food, it was equally a disaster, they usually had one employee trying to man an entire food kiosk. It was his job to take the orders, cook & prepare the food whilst trying to take the money. He would then work out the change in his head, decided to use a calculator afterwards, realise he typed it in wrong and then give you any random amount of money back to you. In the employees defence if the price of items hadn’t been as random as R17.63 change may not have been such a catastrophe.
Enough about the organisers let’s move onto the people that attended.
Firstly I’ll go through a checklist where you can tick off all the points, if you find yourself answering yes to any of these below, chances are you’re not the giant fan you claim to be:
• I only really started liking this band about a week and a day ago. I heard they were coming to the country and everybody was talking about them. All I’m really doing is trying to fit in.
• I know lots of their songs, actually only 2 of them that they play every 15 seconds on 5FM. I don’t know any others.
• Their one song is really kewl, I almost know all the words to it. I can tell you the words of the chorus at least.
• I don’t own any of their albums but my friend who is quite trendy has 2. He hasn’t listened to them yet either but reckons they’re one of the best bands he’s ever heard.
If you passed that list without any problems let’s try determine if you’re suitable to attend a rock concert. Again I’ll give you some points, answering yes to any of them probably means you’re not the ideal person to goto a rock concert.
• I don’t know the name of the band playing
• I think I’ll bring my handbag and all my valuables to just keep with me while I’m there
• A whole group of us has gotten together and we’ll all go together. Once we arrive, we will try setup a little circle in the middle of the standing section where nobody else is allowed to walk; otherwise we’ll get really mad.
• It annoys me when people bump into me and if you do I’ll get my friend/boyfriend to punch you.
• I can’t stand the noise, it’s really frustrating when I’m trying to speak to my friends and tell them a story of what happened last night.
• I don’t do public toilets, we’ll rather leave early if I need to use the bathroom.
• I would rather listen to a CD
As you may be able to tell the majority of the above points apply to ladies. Hence it may not be the greatest fucking plan to bring your fragile girlfriend along to a hardcore rock concert. She’ll probably announce to some deranged emo indie kid that you’ll kick his ass. He’ll put out a knife he was using to slit his own wrists earlier with and stab you. There are good ideas and bad ideas, the above is a bad idea.
Anybody who cannot pass the minimum requirement of those checklists please stay away.
That concludes this post.. Hope you enjoyed.
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