The best taxi service in the world
I know the blog is titled "Rants, raves & the occasional good comment" but due to a lack of anything positive occurring in the country this next post was the best I could come up with. Many may be surprised how the information presented below relates to good comment, but at this point its the best I've got.
This topic has been an all time favourite of time since i began driving....
I have been left speechless, nearly dead and constantly surprised on an everyday basis since I began driving in Joburg. No matter what moves taxi drivers have made in the past their constant innovation about how to disrupt traffic is of world class standards and ensures new methods are always invented.
We all know that taxi's are way overloaded and when you consider that its between R2.50 and R5 for an entire journey you start to appreciate why. I have personally never sampled the Joburg taxi death trap but I have in fact been fortunate enough to have gone in a few mini-bus taxi's in Cape Town. It certainly is an experience...
Just by standing on the side of the road and sticking out your arm to signal over a taxi could be hazardous. The next taxi coming along that road will pull over the second they see you, regardless of any factor. These factors include the lane they are currently driving in, how overloaded the taxi already is and how many people they may kill/harm in doing so. However it must be said that the taxi pulls over there and then, so you won't have to walk more than 3 steps. Not even the finest cities in the world have claim to such taxi service.
Another top quality service our taxi provide is letting passengers out the taxi at any given point. When somebody at the back shouts "I want to stop here" there is no hesitation in slamming on brakes and letting them out at that exact point. Another check box is ticked for brilliant service.
I may be wrong but I have personally never (and I really mean never) seen a taxi turn down a potential passenger. I learned this the way much to my detriment when I pulled over a taxi in cape town and there were probably already 20 something people inside of it. Once the taxi has pulled over you certainly have no chance of telling them you don't feel like hopping in because its crowded. You are basically pulled into the taxi and squashed next to an extra large passenger who is taking up the entire seat and also spills some of themselves onto you. The taxi has a certain noticeable ambiance to it, and usually smells worse than a pub toilet during closing time. Often kwaito music is blaring and the tyres on the taxi account for one of the smoothest rides you'll ever go on.
Now that I've mentioned all the positive factors about our taxi service I do have some very minor problems with the service they provide. The all time classic favourite of mine is usually signaled by a whistle and one hand out of the window by the taxi driver. I like to called it the immunity signal and the reason for this is that it doesn't signal a particular move. Rather what it does so is warn other drivers (if indeed you were even lucky enough to get this warning) that the taxi is about pull some completely crazy move so its best to move as far out the way as possible (they now have immunity). These moves include anything from a dead stop to a 4 lane switch over where the taxi goes from the extreme side of the road to other or even potentially a chat/shoot out with another taxi driver next to him. So drivers beware when you see the immunity hand steer clear!
Although the taxi drivers are responsible for countless deaths (of their passengers and others) on the road the ability to remain unphased and not care about anything/anyone else on the road is rather admirable. The complete lack of regard for other drivers is demonstrated with the highest level of "go fuck yourself" you are likely to find in any industry.
In one particular incident I recall being stuck in a major traffic jam because a number of rioting taxis had decided to block off a major intersection of Louis Botha. One woman who was in a rather upset mood decided she should hoot, and maybe this whole problem would go away, caught a rather nasty surprise when a taxi driver stuck his hand in her window, stole her car keys and walked away with them. Certainly taught her a lesson. (True Story) These guys should not be messed with.
I leave my post here with the conclusion that although there a few negatives to our taxi service, on the whole it is of top quality and that it is the best such service in the world.
This rough draft may be be updated at a later date but for now this is it. I know we all love the brilliant service our taxis provide so I will leave it open to anybody to comment*.
*This anybody excludes a blogger who goes under the alias of "David Brent". "David brent's" real name: Chris Weeks may find himself on the receiving end of a lifetime ban due to his commenting. A picture attached to this post gives warning incase you ever bump into this sick drunk:
Pictured above is Chris Weeks drinking vodka spiked Oros.
