Rants, raves & the occasional good comment

Now I know what all you gym okes are thinking. But I'm not talking about the huge muscles you got in your back.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about where you have been in the last 6 weeks (besides gym)?


We arrive at Lationva and already we agree it’s a bad idea. When it’s possibly the coldest night in winter and guys are desperate to get in we know this place must be only for the most important jollers.

I do have respect for the guys who go there though; they must be able to drink a hell of lot. Either that or they are retarded. We all know that heavy drinking is incredibly bad for you and can slow down your mental ability, but for most of these people to try protect a brain that is functioning so poorly already can only be counter productive.

Some of us get to the front of the queue and the doorman explains that they can't let guys in if they don't have a woman with them because it’s not good for the ratio. First of all it goes without saying that if indeed I did have a woman the last place I would be is laties; unless I wanted to get dumped and have an easy break up. Second of all the oke at the door has the soul of an amoeba and the intelligence of a pot-noodle. He has no chance of understanding ratios. The oke didn't even have a grade 2 and I know that they only start ratios in about standard 5. Of course it is possible that he was a whiz kid and knew about ratios when he was in grade 2. Truth be told he might have been about 15 at that time.

Next was this other door man or uh.. lemme think of a more illustrious title... Maybe chaperon – I don’t want to disrespect such an important fellow. Nothing against gays but this was the biggest poof I had ever seen – he fancied himself as a hot-shot New-York promoter. Again he tells us that we can't come in because we don't have girls with us. My actual theory is that fat little poofer wanted all the boys to stay in line so he could them keep them to himself. Maybe even punish all the naughty boys for trying to sneak into the club behind his back.

Next thing I see this girl (who is more of a man than me – a feat in itself) being let into the club. I reckon she might have been a feminist. She was sporting a mustache that would have given boasting rights back to the days of Led Zeppelin.

Now although I’m bitching about the door-men, I should really be thanking them. I received no fewer than 4 SMSs that night telling me that I’m so lucky I left the club it was really shit. I also saved at least R150 leaving when I did.

I certainly won’t go backing there. But how that’s just like my opinion man.